


Arrival

by JolinarJackson



Category: Firefly
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:18:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JolinarJackson/pseuds/JolinarJackson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Miranda, after Simon broke up with Kaylee, he confronts his sexual orientation and oddly enough, things between him and Jayne begin to heat up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Word Count: ~ 2.000  
> Setting: some time after the movie Serenity  
> Warnings: Language  
> Contains: Talk about prostitution, slash  
> Beta: larsinger29 for the English version. pechfeder for the German one. Thank you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River tilted her head curiously, staring at Simon. "Broken," she said and her hand patted his head awkwardly. "Broken little bird."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: ~ 2.000  
> Setting: some time after the movie Serenity  
> Warnings: Language  
> Contains: Talk about prostitution, slash  
> Beta: larsinger29 for the English version. pechfeder for the German one. Thank you!

It felt strange, like his head was swimming. 

He didn't know what exactly was going on. His whole body just felt incredibly heavy, as if he'd been drinking too much. He was unable to move, unable to do more than stare at the door to this tiny, pathetic little room. The door that had fallen shut when the guy drugging him had left with his money. 

This was probably what he deserved, Simon thought. 

He could practically hear his father scolding him and his mother crying in a corner – ashamed of him. If they knew, they would be embarrassed, first and foremost. Their son, gifted and so, so promising … lying helpless on this rocky little planet just at the very edge of the known 'verse in a seedy little room of a brothel. After being drugged and robbed by a prostitute. A male prostitute. 

If he could have, he would have laughed hysterically about the irony that Jayne Cobb of all people had been right in the end. _"That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth."_

_'Stupid Simon,'_ he thought to himself in his sister's voice. _'Kissing him. Letting your guard down. And now it feels like he didn't just use something to make you fall asleep …'_ He became aware of his chest tightening, breaths becoming harder to draw … darkness started to encroach and rob him of his eyesight, ever so slowly dimming his line of vision until here was nothing but darkness and the sound of his own slowing heartbeat. _'He poisoned you. You'll die. The best trauma surgeon on Osiris … and you die a crook.'_

There was a click. 

The sound of steps and a curse in a rough deep voice. 

Then nothing.

***

Waking up was a painful chore. 

There was a steady hum, familiar and calming, around him. 

_Serenity._

He hurt all over, a strange, tingling ache. Breathing was easier, though. His eyelids felt heavy, but he managed to open them. 

His blurred vision showed him his quarters before someone leaned in close enough for their noses to touch. River tilted her head curiously, staring at him. "Broken," she said and her hand patted his head awkwardly. "Broken little bird." 

He tried to answer, to reassure her, but he only managed a groan. A shiver went through him even though he felt hot and he recognized the signs of a fever. 

River's eyes suddenly went wide and – as if telling him a secret – she leaned in closer and whispered, ”Zoe got me new boots … and sweets.” She grinned widely, looking all of five years old and it was almost easy to forget that she'd survived a room packed with Reavers. Then she became serious, her blue eyes clouding over, a pout forming. "How can you fix me if you're broken yourself?"

Simon tried to answer, but darkness claimed him again.

***

"You're gonna be fine," Kaylee said when he woke up the next time, looking at him with the same sad, resigned expression she wore around him ever since he'd broken up with her. "Cap'n got a doctor from town in. Lucky for you she knew the poison and had an antidote." Her face gave away that she knew exactly how this had happened. 

He felt ashamed, like a liar. Like he'd entered their relationship under false pretenses … and he had, really. ”I'm sorry," he said. His voice sounded hoarse. But all in all, he felt better.

”It's okay, I guess," Kaylee answered. "Just never woulda figured someone as proper as you'd go out and pay a woman to get some."

He frowned in confusion and opened his mouth to answer. 

Kaylee, though, interrupted him, "Jayne told us."

Simon stared at her, for a moment lost for words. Finally, he asked, "He did?"

"Rescued you, so to say." Kaylee gave a small smile and Simon realized again how gorgeous she really was. "Damsel in distress, that's what you are."

Simon cracked a smile himself. "That would make Jayne my knight in shining armor and that's too scary to even consider." 

Kaylee laughed and Simon felt sad, all of a sudden, that things had ended. Kaylee hadn't been perfect for him, not at first glance, that was for sure but she'd been the most real relationship he'd ever had. Problem was ... it was platonic for him and not for her. He'd had to end it. It had been the sensible thing to do. 

Kaylee deserved better.

***

Simon stood before the door for a long time, undecided. He wasn't sure if he should knock. Not sure at all. But he also felt silly for just standing here.

In the end, he didn't have the courage to knock.

Promising himself to do this tomorrow, he was just turning back to head for his quarters, when the door opened and Jayne climbed up the ladder. When he saw Simon on the walkway above him, though, he paused and frowned mistrustfully. ”What'cha want?”

”I ...” He paused, uncertain, and then asked, ”Could we talk for a minute?”

”Talk?”

”Inside,” Simon added, nodding vaguely towards Jayne's quarters.

”Don't want'cha down there.”

Simon licked his lips and swallowed, rubbing the sweaty palms of his hands on his trousers. Even though he tried never to admit it, Jayne scared him on some level. When he wasn't in in control of the situation, like he could be in his infirmary, but wholly on Jayne's terrain, he became insecure. And why wouldn't he? Jayne was huge, brutish and unpredictable. He took a deep breath, calming his nerves a bit. ”Please?”

Jayne rolled his eyes. ”Fine.” He climbed back down and Simon nodded to himself before he followed him.

Simon had never really been in Jayne's quarters before. He doubted anyone had ever been, aside from Mal maybe. He crossed his arms when he reached the foot of the ladder, feeling entirely out of his depth now that he was alone in this tiny room with Jayne. Not offering Simon a seat, Jayne dropped on his bunk. ”So?”

”I wanted to thank you,” Simon answered. ”For not telling them.”

”What?”

Simon swallowed. ”Where you found me.”

”I told 'em. In a brothel. 's not my fault they assumed it was with a girl.”

”Then I need to thank you for not correcting them.”

Jayne avoided his eyes and started to flex his fingers, watching them move.

”And ...,” Simon continued. ”I need to thank you for … rescuing me in the first place.”

Gruffly, Jayne answered, ”Your crazy sister woulda had my head if I hadn't.”

Simon couldn't suppress a slight smile. There weren't many things Jayne was afraid of. River was certainly top of the list. But he wasn't done yet, no matter how uncomfortable Jayne seemed to be right this moment. No matter how uncomfortable Simon felt. ”You could have lied. Told them you didn't know where I was and left me there.”

”She can read minds, you know?" Jayne answered. Simon's smile brightened. Jayne cleared his throat and sniffed. ”Anything else?”

”No. I guess … I guess that's it.” Relief caused him to relax a bit.

”Then get outta here.”

Simon nodded hastily and turned to the ladder.

Suddenly, though, Jayne said, ”It's interesting. How you first thank me for not telling anyone and then for getting your sorry ass outta there.”

Simon paused with his hands on the ladder, staring at the wall. He turned back and gave an embarrassed smile. ”I guess I need to straighten out my priorities.”

”You're so gorram straightened out you'd snap if you got any straighter. I knew from day one that you're queer, too obvious. And yet you go on and start things up with a girl as shiny as Kaylee who's too blind to see that you've been looking at the Cap'n all the while.”

Simon stared at Jayne, amazed because he had probably never heard Jayne say that much at once. Especially to him. And even more awestruck at what Jayne had said. ”That's … amazing perceptive talent you're showing there.”

”The question is why someone like you - rich and successful and pretty – would just live like that. I bet your daddy never knew, did he?”

”It's not that easy.”

”Is it ever with you core-bred idiots?”

”It's not … considered as proper.” Even to his own ears, that sounded weak.

Jayne laughed and got up. ”Proper?” he echoed mockingly.

Simon ducked his head.

”Yes, you're so proper, doc. And I bet'cha don't even know why you bother anymore. Even your sister fits in better around here than you do and she's crazy.”

Simon couldn't help but think that that was true. And it hurt that, even after all this time, he still stuck out like a sore thumb among the crew.

”I think it's time you start losing that attitude of yours and live like a man and not like the whimp of a son your father wants you to be. 'Cause we both know that there's no way you're going back home anytime soon.”

Simon swallowed. ”I don't want to,” he admitted before he realized who he was talking to. Making himself vulnerable to Jayne certainly wasn't a good idea, but it was too late, anyway. ”Go home, I mean. Not anymore.” It was the first time he'd said it out loud, the first time he'd admitted to anyone that Serenity was more than a temporal solution. He looked straight into Jayne's eyes. ”I want to stay.”

”Then act like it.”

Simon stared at Jayne for a long moment, then he narrowed his eyes. ”Why were you there, in the brothel? How did you find me?”

Jayne shrugged. ”Got a guy there I see whenever we're around. He's a bit expensive but worth it. And we were watching you when you walked in.”

Simon blushed. He must have looked like an idiot, nervous and insecure and grateful when he was approached by one of the prostitutes instead of choosing one himself.

”You kissed him,” Jayne said with a grin bordering on a sneer. ”On the mouth. You weren't even in his room yet and already, you were screwing it up.”

”I can't do it without ...” Simon hesitated, feeling silly to say this to Jayne of all people. ”I can't do it like it's just …”

”Then you need a boyfriend, not a prostitute. Can't trust them.”

”Do you kiss him? The guy you're seeing?”

”No.”

”Even though you know him ...”

”He's a hustler. You want them to pretend they love you? Look for a companion.”

Simon nodded slowly. ”Anyway ... thank you.” He was almost sad to realize that he would probably never have this honest a talk with Jayne again. He was surprisingly ... normal, really. He wondered why he'd never realized before.

Jayne rolled his eyes and stretched out on his bunk. Simon was almost up the ladder when Jayne said, ”By the way, I wouldn't say no.”

Simon paused on the ladder and turned back to him. He frowned in confusion. Jayne shifted his hips and Simon blushed, his fingers tightening around the rungs. ”You don't even like me.”

”Won't buy ya flowers anytime soon,” Jayne replied with a leer. ”But at least you could kiss me.”

"I … don't think so.” The idea was absurd. Quickly, he climbed up the rest of the ladder and left the quarters and a laughing Jayne behind.

He startled when he saw River already waiting for him in the corridor. She was smiling. ”I think we can fix you,” she said, rocking on the balls of her feet.

Simon looked at her for a long moment, then he returned her smile hesitantly. ”Maybe.”

”So you can fix me.”

The words hurt, somewhere deep within and it took all his strength to keep the smile on his face. He embraced her gently. ”There's no need to fix you, mei-mei.” He brushed her hair out of her forehead and looked into her eyes. ”You're perfect.”

She grinned. "You, too, stupid."

 

END  
06/13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: My first Firefly fic! I'm weirdly proud. Written for queer_fest and the prompt Firefly, Simon. After years of denying to everyone that he's gay, Simon realizes--after things with Kaylee fall apart--that he actually is.


	2. To Make Him Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayne had never been one for fantasies where he could have the real thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: ~ 1.700  
> Setting: sometime after Serenity  
> Contains: Slash, sexual situations  
> Beta: mcparrot beta'ed this for me, thank you!

Serenity at night was always quiet. A bit too quiet in Jayne's eyes. He was so used to the hum of the engine and life-support that he didn't really hear them anymore and with everyone in bed or in their quarters, it became almost creepily silent. 

He'd grown up with the noise of a bar underneath his little bedroom, the laughter of the men downstairs and the chatter, hushed as it was, of the women getting ready for work next to his room. He still remembered some of them looking in on him every now and again. The whorehouse's baby boy he'd been, and while it had sometimes bothered him in his youth, he was okay with it now. His mother was a fine lady, who'd taught him that whores, too, deserved the respect few men gave them and all over the 'verse, they were very accommodating to men that understood that – men like him. 

With a deep sigh, Jayne closed his eyes, turning on his side. He would have to do more of a work-out tomorrow to be a bit more tired in the evening. They'd been in the black for days now, on their way to a little moon at the very edge of the 'verse to drop off some supplies. A legal job for once, but gorramn boring. Trapped on board, Jayne always got a case of cabin fever. 

He was just finally managing to fall into a light dose when he heard it: The sound of soft steps coming closer to his quarters, pause and then leave again. Jayne opened his eyes, awake again, and looked up at the slivers of light that the door to his quarters couldn't keep out. 

Somebody was up. 

Jayne knew fine well who it was.

He didn't have to wait long for the steps to come back, wait for a bit longer this time and then leave. Jayne rolled his eyes. Simon had been a bit jumpy around him lately. Ever since they'd had their talk, actually. And for a few nights now, he'd been doing this. 

When it had happened the first time, Jayne had thought that it was River sneaking about, until he'd heard the same steps during the day pass by his bunk and saw Simon entering the bridge. 

So Jayne wondered. 

He and Simon weren't friends. Far from it. They lived on the same boat and while Jayne appreciated that Simon could stop a nasty bleeding, Simon seemed to appreciate Jayne handling the fighting. But that was about it. A lot stood between them: Many fights, distrust and completely different views on pretty much everything. All that, though, wouldn't bother him if the doc decided to let Jayne bed him. In fact, Jayne would be mighty stupid to say no. 

That was, if Simon ever grew some balls and knocked on his door. 

*** 

Two days later, it had become an itch that needed scratching. It wouldn't leave Jayne alone. The thought of Simon entering his quarters and giving Jayne the chance to get down and dirty with him was distracting and Jayne's little fantasies about it got more creative the more nights he listened to Simon's cowardice. He got impatient. He'd never been one for fantasies where he could have the real thing.

There was a good dose of curiosity involved, too. About how Simon would be in bed. It was hard to tell. Jayne had learned that the quiet ones could be quite vocal between the sheets, but he'd also seen uptight men and women like Simon being just as uptight in bed. It was a challenge, of a kind, to make them less so, to mess them up and make them lose control and leave them broken and ruffled and unable to _think_. Jayne had had some experience with their kind, chance encounters with mainly women who'd been visiting Jayne's kind of bar, looking for something more sturdy than the average high-class man. 

He couldn't even begin to imagine how Simon would be. He sure seemed like the kind who would be gentle and all romantic with a woman. But with men … Jayne figured that Simon didn't have experiences with men yet. At least not many. Considering how he couldn't open his mouth without something stupid coming out of it when trying to be flirty with a girl – or just talk in general –, Jayne assumed that was a given. Hence the loitering around Jayne's quarters, maybe. Could be Simon couldn't find the words. 

Jayne decided to show him that no words were necessary. 

*** 

Jayne saw Simon startle and freeze when he noticed that Jayne's bunk door wasn't closed, like usually around this time. Jayne was leaning against the wall, looking up at him through the hatch. He cracked a mocking grin. Simon swallowed, becoming all nervous, and crossed his arms over his sweater. Jayne kept looking at him for a moment, waiting for him to make a move and finally did it himself, making a gesture for Simon to climb down the ladder. Simon looked back down the corridor as if he wanted to make sure that nobody saw him, then he did so, tentatively. He remained at the foot of the ladder, though, and looked at Jayne with narrowed, suspicious eyes. 

"Wat'cha doing?" Jayne asked, stepping closer and leaning against the ladder. 

Simon took another step back. Jayne could see how nervous he was but he looked Jayne in the eye, his chin raised defiantly. "What do you mean?" 

Jayne shrugged. "Sneaking about at night. Being all mystery-like. One could think you were up to no good, doc." 

Simon swallowed ... and then apparently lost his courage. "I ... I'm sorry. It won't happen again." He reached for the ladder but before he could make one step up, Jayne had grabbed him and pushed him up against the wall. Simon gasped, startled, and stared up at him. "Uh ..." 

Jayne stepped close, almost pinning Simon against the wall with his body. "You got a problem, doc?" 

Simon avoided Jayne's eyes and opened his mouth but nothing came out. 

"Lost your voice?" Jayne put his hands on Simon's hips and squeezed, fisting his hands in the material of the pyjama pants. He watched Simon close his eyes and leaned a bit closer to softly say, "I told you: If you wanted to, we could get to know each other better." He felt Simon's breath against his jaw and leaned down a bit, bringing their lips closer together. 

"You don't even like me," Simon murmured. 

Jayne grinned. "Told ya I wouldn't buy you flowers any time soon." 

Simon opened his eyes, pinning Jayne with a determined stare. "I need a certain amount of trust." 

Jayne slid his hands up, his fingertips sneaking under the lose sweater and finding warm skin. He gave a low hum, thoughtful for a moment. Trust certainly wasn't a bad thing to ask for regarding this ... and sadly the one thing they were lacking. Simon wasn't moving, though, wasn't pushing him away ... he kept looking at him – waiting. Giving Jayne a chance. Jayne was pretty sure that Simon wanted this or else he'd fight. Sure, he was smaller and lighter and really no match, but he wasn't the type to just cave in either. There was not a doubt in Jayne's mind that Simon's knee would be in his nether regions if he was getting closer than allowed.

So he took his time looking for an answer, a solution to this particular problem. It needed to be a smart answer, too, to convince the doc. Jayne's knuckles kept in contact with Simon's skin in the meantime, stroking slowly.

Finally, it came to him. He grinned. "You kinda said it yourself, doc," he answered, "As long as I'm on the examination table, I'm safe. Well ..." His hands slid higher, up Simon's flanks, pushing him back against the wall. "As long as you're down here, in my bed, you're safe." 

Simon frowned. "I am?" 

"Did you lie?" 

Simon swallowed and then Jayne felt tentative hands on his hips. "No," Simon said. "No, I didn't." 

He tilted his head up a bit more and pressed their lips together fleetingly. Jayne leaned into the kiss and deepened it, tired of playing it slow. 

It was like a dam broke. 

Simon's arms came around his neck and Jayne hauled him closer and up, bending his knees a bit to put them on the same height. He moaned and pushed closer, pinning Simon against the wall. Simon gave a startled sound when his head collided with the metal in his back – hard – and Jayne raised one hand, burying his fingers in Simon's short hair to cushion the back of his head. Breathing out harshly, Simon whispered something that Jayne couldn't understand and he didn't really care that much for that matter, because Simon was warm and tasted good – minty and clean – and raking his fingernails down Simon's back got him the most interesting response, some kind of gasp or sigh. 

Simon pushed his forehead against Jayne's, his eyes a deep, shadowed blue that made Jayne want to do all kinds of dirty things to him. "We need to close the door," he whispered, maybe repeating what Jayne hadn't understood before. Jayne chuckled despite himself and silenced Simon with another kiss. Simon pushed him back a bit, insisting.

"Alright, fine," Jayne grumbled and let go of him.

"No, wait," Simon said and held onto him. Jayne stopped, turning back. Simon stared at him earnestly, and for a moment, Jayne wondered if he was freaking out, if he would leave ...

The question Simon asked was unexpected. "You will stop if I say so?" 

Jayne frowned. "Why would ya wanna stop?" 

"Will you?"

Jayne stared into Simon's eyes. "You won't ask me to stop." He glanced up at the hatch. "Should we close this then?"

Simon looked up at the hatch as well, then back at Jayne. He was thinking again. Jayne hated that about him, always busy thinking. It was way past time someone made him _stop_. Finally, Simon answered, "Yeah. We better."

 

END  
08/13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This wouldn't leave me alone. The whole series, in fact, is not leaving me alone at the moment. I feel mighty inspired.


	3. Made You Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gorramn it, this would get exhausting pretty fast! Jayne certainly had never bedded such a minefield before. Made him wonder if it was worth the trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: ~1.600  
> Setting: sometime after _Serenity_  
>  Warnings: Sexual situations, language  
> Contains: Slash

There were no words, just erratic breathing gradually calming down and Jayne's hand clenched in Simon's hair, relaxing. 

Jayne took a breath, let it out and shifted, rolling to the side and off Simon to give him room to breathe. Simon's eyes were closed, his face flushed, the low lights making his sweaty skin shimmer and Jayne was sure he'd rarely seen anything more pretty. He let his fingers skim a bite mark left behind, dark red on the pale skin of Simon's neck, and wondered if Simon would go back to wearing fancy shirts for a few days to hide it under the collar. Or if he would just continue wearing the lose sweaters he'd bought somewhere along the way, letting everyone see. Somehow, the idea served to make Jayne all hot and bothered again, even though a part of him knew already that Simon would hide the mark like he hid everything else that was private. 

Simon turned his head with a sigh and relaxed into the thin mattress and Jayne couldn't stop himself from asking, ”You fallin' asleep?”

Simon blinked at him blearily for a moment, his blue eyes a darker shade in the low light, and gave him a smile that was so open and honest that Jayne started to feel a bit queasy, strangely enough … and then the shutters came down. Simon blinked again and the smile vanished. ”Sorry,” he muttered and rubbed his eyes, nodding once before sitting up. 

He picked up his underwear and stood to put it on. When he tried to find his pants, Jayne grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to sit on the cot. He kept his hand around Simon's wrist, asking, ”Where are ya runnin' off to?”

”My quarters,” Simon answered, looking at him like he was something stupid.

”Did I say you can't stay?”

Simon hesitated, his brows pulled together and his forehead set into a deep frown. Very slowly, he replied, ”No.” 

”You wanna leave?”

Simon swallowed, still looking at him as if he expected Jayne to lunge and punch him when he gave a wrong answer. ”No.” 

”What's the problem then?” Jayne asked and pulled on Simon's wrist, until he gave in and stretched out on the cot. Jayne switched off the light and settled, one hand on Simon's belly. He breathed out and relaxed, closing his eyes. 

Simon's voice sounded a mite timid when he said, ”Just … didn't expect it, I guess.”

Jayne huffed an annoyed sigh. He was tired now. A good rut tended to do that to a man. All he wanted was to fall asleep. ”Pay my whores enough to stay and sleep after. Why should you go?” He felt the muscles in Simon's stomach shift, heard him draw a deep breath. There was definitely some kind of smart-mouthed remark waiting to be made. Jayne gave a deep, sleepy hum, figuring that someone as refined as Simon would just get the gorramn message and sleep.

It was silent for a moment, Jayne dared to hope … and then Simon couldn't keep his mouth shut, ”That was an incredibly rude thing to say.”

”Did I hurt your feelings?” Jayne grumbled. He snaked his arm around Simon's hips and pulled him in, working a leg in-between Simon's. Maybe this would help him sleep. Maybe he needed his partner this close, like women did. Would fit, with Simon being all core-world sensitive. 

But Simon remained stiff and unyielding in Jayne's grasp, not comfortable. Not like a few minutes ago, when every thrust had made him practically melt against Jayne. He sounded every bit the rich, little boy he'd stepped onto _Serenity_ as the first time, when he said, ”You just compared what we did to paid companionship.”

Jayne rolled his eyes. ”Ain't my fault it's comparable.”

”How so?”

”Pay my whores to sleep with them and wake up with them and then send them on their merry way. Slept with you, will wake up with you and then send you on your merry way.”

”So … the only difference is that you don't pay me?”

”Obviously I do,” Jayne grumbled. ”Invited you to stay, didn't invite you for pillow talk.”

”Pillow talk?” Simon asked in disbelief. “This hardly qualifies-”

”Bizui!” Jayne interrupted and pulled Simon closer to make his point. ”Sleep.”

It was quiet or a few minutes and Jayne was just about to drop off to sleep ... when Simon wrestled himself out of his hold and got up.

”What now?” Jayne asked and switched on the light.

”I'm leaving,” Simon answered, putting on his pajama pants.

”I want you to stay.”

Simon raised his eyebrows. ”And other than the whores you pay, I can refuse,” he said coldly. 

Jayne groaned. ”This was a mistake.”

”I thought so from the start.” Simon grew visibly frustrated, unable to locate the last item of clothing that he was still lacking. 

Jayne saw the sweater in a shadowed corner of his quarters, but felt too irritated to point it out. Instead, he made a point of stretching out, pulling the covers over him and muttering,”Certainly didn't expect a bit of ruttin' to turn into a marriage.”

Simon gaped at him. ”A marriage?”

”Didn't expect'cha to get all bitchy about this. Especially since you knew what you were gettin' into. And now you're behaving like a girl who expected flowers and romance.”

Simon crossed his arms. ”A girl?” 

Oh, but he was pretty like this, all huffy and indignant. Jayne smirked. ”The pretty fits.” 

Simon finally located his sweater and put it on angrily. ”Chur ni-duh, Jayne!“

Jayne grinned, starting to actually enjoy this. “Made ya curse.“

“And now you make me disappear.“ With that, Simon started climbing the ladder.

“Simon,“ Jayne said. Nothing more. 

It made Simon stop, though, and look back at Jayne mistrustfully over his shoulder. 

For just a second, Jayne wondered why he was even making an effort, but the reason was rather simple, really: He didn't like sleeping alone if he could have someone in his bed with him. Jayne held up the blanket. ”Come here.”

”What for?”

”Ta ma de, just do it!”

There was a moment of indecision, then Simon obeyed reluctantly. Jayne hadn't expected him to but was pleasantly surprised. He took Simon's wrist and pulled him down onto the cot, sliding back towards the wall and lying on his side to make space. As soon as he had Simon on his back, he leaned in and kissed him. He met resistance at first, stubborn lips and an indignant noise but then Simon started to relax. Jayne deepened the kiss gently and wound an arm under Simon's back to pull him in, pressing closer, tangling their legs and running a hand from Simon's hip to his back, under the sweater. ”You're wound tight enough to snap,” he said softly and looked into Simon's eyes.

Simon's voice still held a certain amount of steel. ”You usually show that much concern for your whores?”

”I don't kiss my whores,” Jayne answered. It seemed to be the right thing to say, because Simon relaxed a bit more into his arms. Gorramn it, this would get exhausting pretty fast! Jayne certainly had never bedded such a minefield before. Made him wonder if it was worth the trouble. He brushed hair back from Simon's forehead. Simon closed his eyes and Jayne buried his fingers in Simon's hair, messing with already unruly strands. ”You never did this before, right?”

”I had sex before.”

”Not with guys, you didn't. You never felt this good before and that scares you. That's why you're being such a hwoon dahn.”

Simon opened his eyes and looked up at him. ”Is it pretense?”

”Huh?”

”That, exactly. The man ape thing. I think you're much smarter than you're letting on.”

”Jus' good at surviving. I always know when they get twitchy, when they're about to reach for their gun, even when they haven't got one … that's you. All the time.”

Simon sighed and closed his eyes. ”I guess I've been watching myself for too long. I was careful not to slip up.” 

”Ya'd think the light of civilization wouldn't blink an eye at sly people.”

”It doesn't,” Simon replied. ”Same-sex companionship is alright, as long as it's just with Companions, just every once in a while. You have enough influence and power, you can even live together, but it's not exactly seen as normal or appropriate. My parents certainly didn't think of it as acceptable. I just didn't think they would still respect me if I told them.” 

Jayne snorted. ”Thing about respect is, you gotta make other people respect you. It's not given, it's something you fight for.” Simon stared at him and Jayne started to feel uncomfortable. ”What?”

"You're smart.”

”Well, you're stupid.”

Simon smiled and his hand cupped Jayne's cheek. ”I get that this is nothing more than a one off, but we certainly weren't just … rutting ... were we?"

"It's just rutting …," Jayne replied and waited a moment before he added, "but it might not be a one off."

Simon leaned forward and kissed him, whispering, "I think I can live with that."

"Great,” Jayne answered and flopped down on the mattress, burying his face in the bend of Simon's neck. ”Then we can finally get some sleep.” He switched off the light and relaxed, settling in against Simon's warmth.

Fingers combed through his hair and there was a hint of a kiss on his brow, then Simon whispered, ”Thank you, Jayne.” 

”Still won't buy you flowers," Jayne grumbled and fell asleep.

 

END  
09/13

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: My first Firefly fic! I'm weirdly proud. Written for queer_fest and the prompt Firefly, Simon. After years of denying to everyone that he's gay, Simon realizes--after things with Kaylee fall apart--that he actually is.


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